When I Stopped Calling It "Picky" Eating, Everything Changed

Welcome to YTF Community, a place to safely share in the challenges and joys of feeding our families. And make all of it easier!

I was having dinner recently with my extended family and one of the kids started talking about whether anyone at the table was a picky eater. In response, one of the kids said “I’m not picky, I just don’t like how a bunch of foods taste.” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world!

And granted, these kids were not toddlers, but it reminded me of just how much information we miss when we simply use the word “picky” to express our frustration about how hard it is to feed our kids.

This so often comes up with one year olds, who are a group notorious for their sudden unpredictability at the table. For 4 and 5 year olds, who are often exposed to different foods and schedules at preschool and school, and start to prefer different foods than they used to. To any kid going through a growth spurt or slow down.

And really, with any age of kid because so often our kids simply eat differently than we expect them to. Or want them to.

Personally, I have found so much value in simply not using the word “picky” at all. Over the years, I have realized that for me, it’s too vague to do any good. And the label is overtly negative, so kids may think they are doing something wrong or bad when they hear it about themselves.

Yes, it does take a smidge more work to be able to notice what is happening that is causing a child to choose not to eat this food or that food. But there is also real magic in the noticing—because that’s where we can find the information we need to either accept the eating phase…or try to change and work to improve it.

Members Only

The full post is for paid subscribers to the YTF Community. The vast majority of my content is free every day of the year, so if this topic is of interest to you, consider upgrading to a paid subscription to keep reading.

A subscription gets you: Paywalled essays, commenting with peers, weekly customizable meal plans, bonus recipes, and other fun perks.

If you’re already a member, login for access.

Note: This post is not meant as a substitution for medical advice. Always consult your pediatrician with specific medical concerns.