This simple shift in perspective has released so much pressure when feeding my kids. (PHEW.)
Welcome to YTF Community, a place to safely share in the challenges and joys of feeding our families.
Last week, I shared the story of how I lost my appetite last year, during the stress of divorce. And there was a part of that story that I saved to share today because it is slightly separate, yet very related to the work I do here. I have built a career sharing recipes for families with little kids (or for anyone who just wants easy and yummy). I share advice for “picky eating” because I know how hard it can be to feed kids.
But I also know, now in a much different way, that lumping so many feeding challenges under the “picky eating” bucket isn’t helping us find easier ways to feed our families—or helping the kids to eat any differently.
In my life at home feeding my kids‚ and when I probe deeper with curious questions to parents in my DMs, feeding challenges are usually not just about the food. Usually, there are other forces at play. And as someone who just lived through a long period of time when it was very hard to find food that was appealing, satisfying, and that tasted good, I ate a lot of the same foods over and over. And many came out of a package.
Just like our kids often do.
So many times, when I sat with a meal in front of me that I wasn’t interested in, but I knew I had to eat, I knew deep down why feeding kids can feel so impossible.
And how understanding this part of feeding kids can change so much about the process.
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Thank you so much for this article. As a pediatrician and mom of a “picky” toddler, this really rings true. I feel like talking with parents about considering all these other dimensions – sensory, emotional, developmental, motor skills, etc – will help them feel a little less stumped and discouraged. When it’s just a question of “getting the child to eat” x, y, or z food, it’s already a losing battle! But all parents know their children deeply, and asking them to consider what’s going on behind the scenes for each kid – that’s something we Can do.
Agree so much and I appreciate your comment!
As someone who since childhood has had very real sensory issues surrounding food (mushrooms make me gag and throw up, but I like the taste so I can have them as a soup) and surrounding dinner time (certain utensils will be so so heavy for me I can’t focus on the meal but rather on the silverware) this hit home for me. I was also a kid who was taught there was guilt surrounding food because if I didn’t finish every single thing on my plate my dad would make a point of throwing it out in front of me and then telling me millions go without food and I was ungrateful. I think your point to context is so so important, because as kids we have so much stimulus and learning going on, but often can’t express it. And if there’s conflicting factors like these associated with foods it increases the stress. Thank you for talking about this very real deal, I will work on being mindful in my own life when eating and feeding littles.