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A while back, I shared the story of how I had completely lost my appetite during my divorce. I sort of thought I’d get through that phase of my life and voila! My appetite would be completely restored! Feeding myself would be easy!
But honestly, feeding myself has been a struggle ever since I became a mom.
And I know that part of my story is the story of every mom who has ever struggled to nourish herself. Which means it’s really important for me to talk about it. Again.
From feeling like we have to save the “good” fruit for the kids (I’m looking at you, expensive blueberries and mango!); to feeling obligated to eat the kids leftovers; or rushing to eat a few spoonfuls of food while plating the kids food because that is quite literally better than nothing. It is simply Very Hard for many of us to cut through the literal and figurative noise that surrounds our ability to eat during motherhood.
My approach to feeding myself is actually quite simple: My only goal is to make sure I am eating enough. Okay, and also that I enjoy most of my food. But amazingly, that is still so hard!
To help a little, here are real examples of what I made for myself during a recent week. I didn’t spend all day cooking, I genuinely enjoyed these meals, and they helped me have enough energy to deal with the rest of life. (A winning combo if there ever was one!)
And I feel like I have really started to crack the code on breakfast…
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Easy Pumpkin Cake and Scrambled Eggs
One thing I have learned about myself is if I am not in the mood for much because I am generally feeling rushed and stressed, I will almost always be interested in eating snack cake.
And my pumpkin cake (and my Applesauce Cake) stores so well in the fridge that I can make it when I have time and eat it for a week after. It is also just lightly sweetened enough to taste like slice from a fancy coffee shop. There is something about cake for breakfast that makes me feel like I am taking care of myself with a little something extra.
I usually add scrambled eggs or a smoothie alongside it to make sure I am full enough.
Strawberry Smoothie and Pretzels
Last year, I realized that in order for food to really appeal to me and, I think, be able to cut through the stress in my body, it had to be MORE. More flavor, a little sweeter, just better tasting. (This is often true for toddlers, too!) So my go-to strawberry smoothie has frozen strawberries, thick Greek yogurt, orange juice (which adds a lot of flavor), a splash of maple syrup, and some unsweetened protein powder to help ensure it’s filling.
I like to pair this with Splits brand pretzels and I often eat this sort of thing for an easy lunch. Or a late breakfast if I was too busy with the kids to eat much earlier in the day.
Chicken Caesar Salad
It should be no surprise that I love my Italian Chicken Cutlets because they were one of the first foods that I really felt hunger for when I started to feel like myself again last winter. And they remain one of my favorite foods to both eat out of the pan and to make ahead and add to salads.
I love having this for lunch or a quick dinner because it’s easy to assemble and also feels special. I also sometimes make this by throwing some frozen chicken tenders into the air fryer!
Salmon Bites and Rice
I am not going to tell you that the key to feeding yourself as a busy mom is to make time for meal prep because that advice ignores the context that you likely have no time to do that! But I will say that being strategic about cooking enough to have leftovers of the foods you like to eat as leftovers can be a huge help.
For me, this means that I often cook a batch of Salmon Bites and save half of them for a quick meal on another day. This is my current favorite way to eat fish and the salmon is actually great warm or cold—so I can have it with rice and Cucumber Sauce (or store bought tzatzki), or I sometimes use it to make a wrap with lettuce and some salad dressing.
I have also gotten into the habit of bring precooked frozen rice, which is so simple but honestly helps me so much.
Deconstructed Chicken Parm
I loved this dinner so much I texted this photo to all of my friends…it’s just that simple and that good. I have made this meal—which is pasta with jarred sauce, crispy chicken, and mozzarella cheese—as a family meal with my kids (I sometimes use Dino nuggets which they find more fun!). And I often make it for myself.
On this night, I again used frozen chicken tenders and put them into the air fryer. (The Just Bare brand is very good flavor and texture-wise, as are the ones from Trader Joe’s.) The texture and flavor mix is just so satisfying.
NOTES
- You may notice there are not always a ton of vegetables or produce in my meals and you are right. I don’t worry much about that and just try to eat what I’m in the mood for. I do often have some carrots and ranch or Caesar while I’m cooking.
- These plates are not meant to be a recommendation on portion sizes. They are simply what I felt was right for me on these days. I honestly do not remember whether I ate everything showed here, but that, quite frankly, doesn’t matter.
- I do not weigh or otherwise measure my food, but do my best to serve a mix of food groups and foods throughout the day and week and listen to my own hunger cues. This is the same way I feed my kids. (Since I personally don’t always have the strongest hunger cues, I often feed myself without that starting place, but I do my best to make space to be able to listen to my body, even through all of the noise.)
During the weeks in our custody schedule that I have my kids, I usually eat with them other than lunch, when they are at school. There are times in the morning when things are just too chaotic and I have a few bites and then eat more once everyone is out the door.
But I do (fairly constantly) remind them that “mama needs to eat” and now my middle kiddo often says that out loud before I even have a chance to if she notices that I am having a hard time sitting down. I want that to be an example to the kids, and the girls especially, that moms have needs to—and we get to prioritize them, even as we are taking care of everyone else.
I’d really love to hear what YOU feed yourself and what tips you have for making sure you are not just getting the crusts from the kids plates. (Or tips for making the crusts more delicious if we are just going to focus on preventing food waste:) Please comment and chat below!
I just eat whatever I’m making for my son, like a family meal. So for breakfast, I don’t like eating anything but fruit… so I eat the same fruit as my toddler does without the porridge that I give him.
Then I eat whatever dinner I make such as tacos, fried rice, Mexican beans and brown rice, avocado sushi, risotto, stir fry, tofu bites with salad and much more!
I also eat the tomatoes and crackers or whatever else like peanut butter toast as snacks or lunches etc
Thank you Amy! I so much appreciate your honesty and being so real. It’s very comforting to me.
Thank you for addressing this! I have my first baby now and I just don’t feel like I’m doing a super good job at this. I love that you don’t judge yourself and just try to eat intuitively. You’re doing amazing and setting such a great example!
It’s really hard but I think just knowing we are allowed to take steps to do this for ourselves can help a bit!
I love this post… I also rarely think about my food needs amidst the stress of life and kids.
It’s so hard to keep it in mind!